Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
oh god the rape fog is back!
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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