I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
