Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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