So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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