I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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