You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize