it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
