i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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