You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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