I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
