I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
