i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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