You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
