why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
