it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
