You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
