just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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