Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
