Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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