I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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