We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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