I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
