im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
