I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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