what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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