so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have feelings that need drinking.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
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