if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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