Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
