i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
