I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
