great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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