is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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