Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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