Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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