He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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