Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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