Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
