did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
