god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
