I love black thongs
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
