The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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