Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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