Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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