I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
