do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize