I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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