Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
