my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
