Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
