I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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