Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
