Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
