Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Go christen that room with your naked body.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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