We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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