then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
