They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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