i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize