so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
