So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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