Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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