He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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