Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
