I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
