you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
